Last night I pulled into Kum & Go in Springfield, MO off of Glenstone and James River Express to put gas in my car. I noticed as I was driving into the parking lot to my pump a bum sitting on the concrete up against the store. There was something about him that made me want to look at him and check out what his "bag" was. Instantly I began to have a left brain/right brain conversation. Left brain "Don't make eye contact. Don't look at him". Right brain, "Hey look at that dude what's his bag? What's his sign say? I see Vet on it" "No, no don't look at him. He might come over here. He's probably fake." "Hey check it out, he isn't even looking at anyone. There might really be something wrong with him. He's a veteran for goodness sakes." This little back and forth jargon went on all the while I pumped my big buy of $20.04 of unleaded gas. Finally the right brain won out and said, "Give him that five bucks you got in your little change purse so he can put some food in his stomach." The left brain gave in with only one condition that I ask the clerk in the store if the guy hung out there all the time or not. If the clerk said yes then there would be no hand outs.
I went into the store still not making eye contact with the man. I paid for my gas and asked the clerk about the homeless man sitting out front. The clerk didn't know anything because he didn't actually work at that store. He was just filling in that evening. I told the clerk then I was just going to go for it then so the man could put some food in his stomach.
I had the five bucks in my hand as I walked out of the store and approached the man. He still wasn't staring anyone down or trying to get their attention. He was just sitting there with a kind of far away look like he was thinking about something or remembering something. When I walked up to him, it kind of surprised him. That's when I saw what his sign said, "Marine homeless Vet". That was it nothing more nothing less. I handed him the money and told him very firmly put something in his stomach to eat with it. Then I said, "My daddy was a Marine." A spark of life came to his eyes when I said that. I told him he was in the Korean War and the Vet told me he had been in Nam.
I could tell that something wasn't well for him. He is probably one of thousands of those people with mental health conditions that fall through the cracks. They get no help from anyone. The government doesn't want to deal with them and they are not well enough to deal with themselves. I say government as a whole, not just Republicans but yes you democrates too. No one in Washington left or right is dealing with this situation of citizens with mental health issues.
He began to talk about people not understanding what he was going through. You could hear the hurt in his voice and the loneliness. No I don't understand what he is personally going through but I do understand what it feels like to go through something and people not understanding, not caring, and pretending that you are alright. It's a lonely dark place to be.
I started to walk away and the words came to me to say, "Don't give up. Don't quit believing. God is watching over you, he will see you through." At. those words he perked up even more and said, "Yes I know." I asked him then if he knew Jesus, if Jesus was in his heart. He told me yes I've known him for a long time. I asked if he was born again. He kind of chuckled and said yes. Then my attention was drawn back to the sign. I said, "From my daddy to you Semper Fi." If love and pride could pass over a person's face visually it did at that moment. He sat up straight and said, "Semper Fi". As I started to walk away he asked if I knew what Semper Fi means. He said it means "Always Faithful". I stopped and pointed my finger at him and said, "Yes that's right and so is God Semper Fi. He is always faithful." Understanding came over him instantly like a light coming on in the darkest room. He smiled and chuckled, "Yes that is right. God is always faithful."
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